UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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