so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
