At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
