i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
