So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
