we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A bitchslap is in order.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize