so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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