Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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