I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
