I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We are all done wearing pants today
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
