...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
