I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
