Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
