remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
