mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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