i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
