Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
