can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
