the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Randomize