She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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