Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?

(313): View more from Michigan

No?

(586): View more from Michigan

Well my cheeks are red now

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(541): View more from Oregon

Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."

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(913): View more from Kansas

took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas

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(310): View more from California

How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?

(323): View more from California

Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.

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