I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
