But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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