I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
