ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
as a side note pls kill me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The air taste purple.
Randomize
