I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
