i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
