Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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