I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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