Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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