If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
