Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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