the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
