Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize