that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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