Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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