I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
