They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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