She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
