More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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