You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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