I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize