my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
