dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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