You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
