awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize