Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
