I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
