no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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