i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
