I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize