yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
