whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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