he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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