I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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