i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize