Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Where is the hickey?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
