I wanna passion pit in your ass
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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