fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
