i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
