Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
