One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
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