You work out of a Hotel?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
