Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
