i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
