Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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